So, I buy and sell a lot of random things. Vehicle accessories, prosumer camera equipment, computers, computer parts, Nintendo games/consoles, Xbox games, and anything else I happen to come across that I can make a quick buck on. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on Craigslist. Why does it sometimes seem like I’m the only normal person on that website?
Today, I’m selling some lights. I just got a text:
“Do u have a receipts for the lights.”
I know it’s completely ridiculous, but this text has infuriated me. For starters, FUCKING GRAMMAR. It’s a question, not a statement, and yet you end with a period. You use the singular “a”, yet plural receipts. But even if this question were worded perfectly, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Am I supposed to keep receipts for everything I’ve ever bought, based on the premise that I might one day sell it? I don’t keep receipts for anything. What would you do with the receipt if I did have it? Are you going to try to return the lights in hope to get a full refund? Are you just trying to verify that I didn’t steal the lights? Are you hoping to glean some data from the receipt that will help you negotiate with me? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?
So, I text back:
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t ever keep receipts. Is that a deal breaker?”
No answer. Now I’m even angrier. My eye is twitching. I just want to crawl around inside this person’s head for a second and find out what abnormalities lie within.
You’d think I’d make the switch to Ebay, but Ebay is a hassle. Not only are their cuts of seller profits huge, but also shipping is almost always a necessity. So which is the bigger hassle, Craigslist Crackheads or Ebay Fees & Shipping? Obviously I keep using Craigslist so I guess I’ve made my choice…
OH the receipt-texter just responded:
???? Are you thinking about whether or not you want to purchase an item from Craigslist that doesn’t come with a receipt? Because if that’s the case then maybe you should seriously reconsider even shopping on Craigslist. Maybe you’re thinking about world peace. Or what you are going to have for breakfast next Tuesday morning. IDGAF can you please just tell me if you plan to buy this item or…?
I texted back:
I figure, as far as Craigslist crackheads go, if you can’t beat them, join them… maybe I’ll text back in a few minutes and ask this person what their blood type is. You know, just to make them wonder…
for the record, this rant is more for comedic relief than actual anger. i happen to find my craigslist situations quite hilarious.